The end of an era of creaming it out

I haven't updated for a while so this is several lectures worth, enjoy!

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you can't satisfy them all at the same time...it's just not possible

with a 4 " by 2 ", it's just too small! you can get problems

when we're doing it from a practical point of view, we need to stop any errors that might.....grow

sorry, I was too busy looking at you and not the board

I wanted to sort of...sow that seed in your mind

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I'm going to turn you on.............(to a page). We'll get there eventually

And I will be coming too soon

This is coming out DIRECTLY at you

Do you know anyone who wants one? Any friends or so?

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And what I would do in such a session would be in receive mode...

it doesn't do anything until you start doing things with IT

it's not a dirty trick, just sleight of hand

can I pop in a second?

ring a bell in your brain (dong in your head)

yes, we'll be going in to it, yes, there will be ramifications!

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And finally,the curtain call...and he goes out with a ruddy bang

I was pinged by a colleague

if you want anything, send me an email and I'll do it

BEWARE the wolf in the cupboard

a bottom entry (of one)

*in the voice of a young girl* okay, I've got the biggest one, I've got the smallest one, what about the others?

bottom entry....once......twice....three times.....four times.....five times.....and after 24 iterations....they say 'oh it's magical' and it IS RUDDY magical

doing it again and again and again, n times

creaming it out..creaming it out

This chap's going to get very small and shrivelled up

doing it again and again, going to get rid of this bastard if you keep up the killing process

do you see what I'm getting at? Have I conveyed something to you?

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Yes, we do see what you're getting at. Thank you, MDJ :)

A Trip to Hogwurts

..and it would go....WSCHOOSH (mimes something originating from his nether regions and spraying all over the students) and go wanging away from there....

...it's always got to be consistently coming in...

I have another set of students...I take them on a Monday and Wednesday

Hogwurts...that's what it's called? I was always amused by Platform 9 1/2, the only way to solve it was to RAM the trolley into the pillar....there are better ways to do things

sorry to jump on you there!

sometimes you've got to have one top + bottom

...absolutely, you've hit it on the HEAD

I've got a couple of boxes in my office I can't quite reach...I need a couple of...boys to help me

ADDED: having had one hernia, I don't want another!

It all starts in a dark lock up, somewhere in Wales...

Shall we start with a story? It's always nice to start with a story.....it all begins in a dark lock-up somewhere in Wales....a father and son stripping down....taking off all its pieces..plenty of tiny little rings..."Hello boys, would you like a warm drink of ....whatever?"

come together...WHOOOSH...back into some hole

..don't worry, I'll try and reveal all by the end of the lecture

...never met it before, you're thinking, 'not in the way he's done it.....'

I'll split you in half...if you need anything just pipe up...okay, HAVE I SATISFIED YOU?

quite kinky.......I was talking to a nurse the other day

...it's smooth, pretty smooth, pretty okay, doesn't do anything nasty to you....

a smooth, dome-like curve, like a beautiful Welsh hill...

8dp...that's pretty good, isn't it?

pretty good....8dp!

that's pretty good, isn't it...it's coming in really fast

..and you're sliding in quite nicely

you can take it from t'other side

it does wang in very fast

Slunking

I don't quite know why I've slunk you all to the left.

...you can perform the operation backwards...it's a bit hit and miss

it's so damn narrow! you can almost say you're on it....now, is it a good idea? well, there are better, but you'll eventually get "there"....

hunky dory, eh? Let me rub it out

Is it coming in vertically?

Is it coming in vertically?

YES! LET ME GO FURTHER, YOU GUYS.....let's hammer the message home!

Student: It's all coming back

MDJ: *looking very pleased* I should hope it is....

it does it, and it does it WELL.

[MDJ enjoys]...doing the Maclaurin series

Open Up, Please....

(another brilliant opening line) "Open Up, Please!"

"you can strip anything down, but can you make a [w]hole?...."

"...which opens the field for me to...."

[scottish accent] "I cannae get hold of iiiee!"

"going back to basics to get the breast possible approximation"

[after a student exploded at the use of breast] "I take it that was funny, was it?"

"If I come to the right or if I come to the left on the other hand"

"...sometimes you have no choice but to take it from the right"

"If you look at this erect triangle"

"forward, backward, you may have no alternative!"

"you may say 'oh, I can go both sides, and start doing things there' " (advice on sexuality?)

"far tighter, far stronger, far more useful...." (what's he talking about...your depraved will decide)

"h cannot be big.....but something else could be..."

"get inside there, and you're absolutely shafted"

"see the vertical shaft, there?"

"I hope my choice of phrasing hasn't upset anyone, have I upset anyone. I like to keep you guys entertained...." (he's doing well!)

OK GAYS!

(classic opener) "OK Gays!" (Freudian slip?)

"right, I'll just fiddle with it appropriately..." (back turned, ostensibly altering the lighting, is he fiddling with the light switch or should the boys on the front row be worried?)

"I think you'd find they'd give you the bum steer"

"..coming at the right speed, at the right time..." / "Am I coming at the right speed, at the right time?"

Wazz wizzard?

"If it looks like a load of wazz, it usually is" ... later "you can bet your ruddy boots it is!"

"I have the feeling that we're in touch (with each other), aren't we?"

"I can shoot through this....at a reasonable speed"

We'll do this Military Style

"We'll do this Military Style..."

"if you can, in the tight confines of that corner....form a tight...ring"

"there are 7 different rotational positions" (really, I can only think of about 5...)

"I won't assume anyone to be an item....but stand behind each other!"

"Is that going to meet your needs? SAY YES!"

A Classic Opener

"This is your second hour of sitting down and receiving, and this is my second hour of giving"

"I'd prefer it with the lights on...."

"..larger than anything you've ever experienced..." (the class size? or something else.....)

"..tossing a coin..." (ostensibly miming flipping a coin, looks more like another kind of 'tossing')

"what's the probability of getting [a] head?"

"does it need to be harder, faster?"

"Don't worry, it gets hard of its own accord...." (a classic end too!)